If sex doesn’t prove love, why is cheating painful?

For century’s, the controversy on the extent to which sex proves love has not been conclusively settled. Before the invention of words like casual sex, sex was a serious act found mostly in committed relationship and for this reason, many believed that sex could prove love. Sometimes we tend to hear people say ” prove your love for me by laying with me” and this has made many to believe that sex was the only yardstick for proving their love to each other. Althought this may be somewhat true then because sex was originally created to be utilized within the armpit of formal romantic affair like marriage. It is not so recently because they act of sex has lost it efficacy because of the high rate of sexuality in the society.

The impact of modernization and revolution in the relationship setting has made many people to be more sexually active with multiple partners who are readily available offline and online. This has made them to justify the fact that sex doesn’t prove love especially when the scenario of a sex worker who offers sex without necessarily having any iota of love for those who patronise them are been given as instance.

In our day to day conversation, we tend to hear young and older adult say sex doesn’t prove love because of the way the media has succeeded in painting and projecting sexuality to the people. Although sex doesn’t prove love, but often time we desire to have sex or this emotional intimacy with people we love. The difference between the two statement is that when sex happen between two lover’s it’s called “love making” while when it happens outside love it’s called ” causal sex or having fun”.

There is this connection and emotional bonding that takes place when two lover’s come together to have sex (make love). This is because sex unites them to the extent of becoming one thereby strengthening their intimacy or closeness. Note that intimacy is not gotten only from sexual activities, other form of togetherness between the loving parties can engender intimacy. Thus, intimacy can be simplified as “In To Me See.” Meaning allowing that person full access to your mind, heart, and soul. That’s allowing them know you even in your default and unpackaged state. Going by this position, one may wish to debunked the initial claim that sex doesn’t prove love especially within romantic setting because to a reasonable extent it does with the exception to those who indulge in this act for their selfish gains or purposes.

Love is a multidimensional construct which has been largely conflated with sex and other forms of human formulations put forward to describe love. Sex is just an aspect of love and not necessarily the whole love it self. Hence when people continually cite a single aspect as being love it becomes uninteresting thereby making most individuals believe that sex doesn’t prove love. To some kindness proves love while to others trust or faithfulness proves love but the Crux of the discuss is that all this factors combine to complement the many dimensions of love.

In spite of all that is being said, they unanswered question is -if sex doesn’t prove love in relationship, why is cheating painful? Why do most lover get pained or mad when they know their partner is having an affair with someone else or had sex with someone other than them?. For those who don’t believe that sex prove love why is the unnecessary anger or vexation. Why call it cheating. This is the unanswered controversy that has plagued the relationship world for a very long time and I guess as you read you are seeking answer to the above question too.

It would interest you to note that sex doesn’t prove love but sex helps in sustaining the intimacy in romantic relationship. What people don’t know is that many don’t get mad or pianed at why their partner had sexual intercourse with another person or cheated on them as many puts it.

Lover’s get pained at the failure to uphold the fidelity promises from their partner. You know in relationship people sacrifice alot of things for the workability of such union. They make themselves vulnerable to their partners in order to make both parties happy. They give each other certain preferential treatment over every other person within their immediate friends cycle. Thus , they get pained because of the sacrifices they have made for their lovers and not really about their partner sleeping with other people other than them.

Furthermore, it’s believed that when people are in love, they should pledge their loyalty to just one partner and even their sex life adjust to fit in only the person they love. Thus, when a partner sleeps with another, they feel that the emotional force bonding them have been weaken because a third parties has come into the picture. Thus, it is the disappoint that people get that makes them feel terrible.

Although every human has this predisposition to feel jealous when they realize that a particular thing they have is under threat by the presence of a third party, they tend to be jealous and angry at the same time. Thus, most people feel pained when they are being cheated on not because of the sexual infidelity but because they actually love the cheating partner dearly and didn’t expect that they would betray their trust and faith in them. From the forgoing it is better to say that sex complements love but doesn’t prove it. The position in this article is that in one hand sex proves love while in the other hand sex doesn’t prove love. Thus, cheating is painful because of broken trust.

 

β€œIf a guy asks for your phone number, please push him your account number” – Bobrisky

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