In recent time its not uncommon to hear most Nigerians acclaim the phrase ” love na scam” (meaning love is full of deceit or is a fraud ) in their day to day conversation and social media post. It is becoming un-bearing to see that many people no more believe in the possibility or existence of true love which justifies the flirtatious lifestyle as practiced by them which has indirectly impacted negatively on their ideology of committal friendship or relationship.
Currently, most Individual go into intimate relationship on the grounds of what they will benefit only and not on what they can offer to the workability of their union or relationship. In Nigeria, we tend to hear things like “If you no get money, abeg shift” (meaning if you’re not financially buoyant you can’t be considered for love) especially from the lady’s. This singular statement makes it obvious that many don’t believe that a workable loving relationship can be achieved. Although many treat this recent coinage with levity but critically it is an anomaly in our society which also is gradually destroying the future of healthy romantic relationship as would be practiced by many.
The term psychology stands for the scientific study of how the human mind works and process information available to it on a day to day basis. In Nigeria, many people have allowed their minds to be polluted with misrepresentation of love as a fraud and unhealthy feet by the society. Thus, their thought process also holds a skewed representation of this phenomenon too. From an indebt observation and critical thought processes about this topic, it is clear that there is an underlying psychological correlate with the phrase “love na scam”.
Firstly, psychology behind the above coinage mirrors the fact that many were and are still deeply broken especially by people they gave their heart, soul and body. The way this individuals combat this their innate pain and disappointment is by building strong walls that repels anyone from coming close as away of alleviating their self pity and heart break.
If you look closely, you would realise that those who use this statement more often are very loving and caring in fact they’re better lover’s than others. Although most Nigerian music and Nollywood film have contributed in the popularisation of this phrase, it is imperative to state that there are some level of mix up in their representation.
Secondly, psychology behind this phrasal coinage as used by Nigerians also shows an underlying need for care, attention and affection. If one looks closely, one will realise that individuals who use this phrase mostly live a solitary lifestyle although they may appear quite sociable and interesting to people, acting all independent and satisfied with their life’s and showing no desire for any form of commitment in any romantic relationship. Making relationship to look like a contract involving two parties with different interest instead of being for common interests of both parties yet deep inside they need someone they can confide in, someone whom they can trust, someone who can pet them and love them genuinely.
However, the fear of not wanting to be victim in love again has made many to practice extreme self protection which have indirectly made them to lose sight of genuine people who come into their lives for serious relationship. No relationship is a perfect paradise were all conceived fantasy are realized rather it’s a place were compromise, forgiveness and trust begets long lasting relationship. Even when one is heart broken the ability to bounce back and function normally shows a good mental health.
Thus, love as many Nigerians would say is never a fraud, deceit nor scam, it is the best gift nature has given humanity for happy coexistence and procreation and it’s best practice in marriage or formal relationship. The heartbreaks and disappointment many experience in relationship shouldn’t make them falsely represent the art of love as an unhealthy feet or destination for anyone who wishes to journey into it.
True love only happens to those who believe they exist. Just like a self fulfilling prophecy when people continue to say that the art of love is full of deceit or fraud same plays it self in their lives. Thus, it’s advisable to be more logical and intentional in ones actions and statement because the human mind ( brain ) only processes only what that is made available to it because negativity breeds negativity and positivity breeds positivity.