Every individual has a unique personality and so this shapes the way we do the amazing things that we know how to do, so whether it is amazing to you, it can be blunt ass annoying for someone else. This is when you begin to hear people say things like ‘I can never act like that, it is the last thing that I would ever think of doing in my life’ or ‘ I thank GOD for my type of person because I can never imagine myself acting in that manner’.
Let’s face the truth, we are all guilty of this! We are all guilty at one point either consciously or subconsciously for looking at someone or noticing a particular trait which they possess that does not really resonate with you and just because it doesn’t resonate with you, you say ‘tufiakwa’ in your mind or even decide to blurt it out.
This behavior doesn’t necessarily have to be toxic in a way that the person needs to get help, it might just be something else. I would break this down through different scenarios:
I love reading books! I started with storybooks at a very young age and I can remember vividly how my dad was extremely proud of me crushing down those letters/words with my sonorous voice and smiling wildly at him with pure ecstasy. Still with the way I carried myself on in my last story, if you haven’t read it, do so HERE. I still read like I was under a spell.
To me, books give me the privilege to travel without me having to lift my feet! The genre of any book that I am reading does not matter to me, as long as I’m drowning in that book, I don’t care. In my quest to fulfill my unending burning love for reading, some people despise me for this and I’m sure you must be wondering why?
Some say that I am too serious and I cannot HAVE FUN! Others do not see Mmesoma as the type of person to hang around because I am plain ass boring, people also detest me for the fact that when being asked about my location, the answer LIBRARY is enough to make them want to carry their slippers and just hit me for having the effrontery to make them look unserious.
The question here is, why should I be ashamed for what I love doing that you hate?
You also see people insulting you through jokes but deep down, you know what is going on! This type of dumbass behavior can lead to something in this next scenario
She is torn between what to wear to go for lectures and her style as a peng babe is to look smart and classy. It is the second week of resumption in her final year and she looks at other female students that are in the hostel and then she sees flip flops, all manner of sandals, and plain polo and skirt on a Monday morning to go for a lecture. She doesn’t care about what others are putting on but she is worried for the most part about a particular thing which is the shame that comes along with her dress code. The constant ‘Mama, Na you, dey calm down’ ‘truly ooo, Na you carry school for your head’ ‘you don start to dey wear all your fine cloth na, later you go dey dress like say…..
Will you keep quiet?
These types of statements are truly demoralizing and just because you have a thick skin and you feel you can handle it doesn’t mean everybody can! This is exactly what I talked about with personality type!
For example, someone who is trying to struggle with their esteem and other related issues would feel down in their soul, body, and mind. I do not even care at all but to be realistic, it gets to a point where it becomes too much and I certainly have to draw the line.
If it is coming from a particular person, you need to tell the person and be serious about it. You can’t expect to tell me something that is playfully bothering you and expect me to take you seriously, I definitely would not.
Finally, after stating how you feel, build your confidence to enable you to own your personality and your likes.